Money

Live within in your means. If the Joneses don’t pay your bills, then don’t worry about keeping up with them. This is the single greatest cause of financial stress. So learn to be content and slay the green-eyed monster. Materialism has a narcotic effect, but it eventually leaves you empty and wasted regardless how much stuff you have.

Be credit wise. If you don’t have the money for it, then don’t buy it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with using a credit card if you can pay the balance at the end of every month. If you are not able to pay the balance, you are not living within your means! Cut up your cards, pay them off and close them out, keeping only one frozen in a large block of ice for emergencies.

Get out of debt. Start somewhere, with the smallest to largest debts. It will take time, but you will be amazed what freedom this will bring and what stress it will relieve from your marriage. Beware of credit consolidation services. Most of them will mark your consumer credit report that you are repaying under a debt-management plan, and this may prevent you from being able to secure a loan for a car or house. If you haven’t done so lately, contact your credit card company and negotiate a lower interest rate… yes, they will do it if you have a good history with them.

Talk it out. What’s hers is his and what’s his is hers, so work as a team. [This principle is also true in the area of sex.]

Live on the 80-10-10 plan. Live on 80% of your income. Invest 10% (a savings account is almost like burying it in the back yard, so consider mutual funds or shorter term CDs.) And give at least 10% back to God. Tithing is the only area where God says to test him (Malachi 3:10) and disobedience in this area is the surest way to learn what the “devourer” is. [No, tithing is not a Law/grace issue. Tithing was started long before the Law, it was endorsed by Jesus, and the only other New Testament models we have is giving 100% of possessions. More to come on this subject later…]

Live for what lasts forever. Jesus said, “Seek God’s kingdom and righteousness first and everything else will be added to you.” And when Jesus says something, you can take it to the bank!

Sex

Do your homework. Read the Song of Solomon with your partner. You can also order Clint’s teaching series called “Why Solomon Sang” on CD.

Practice what you read. As James writes, “Do not deceive yourself by merely listening to the Word, but put it into practice.” To neglect this area of your marriage relationship is sin. The husband belongs to the wife and the wife belongs to the husband. When this area is neglected (or abused as a tool of passive-aggressive control), the door for temptation is left wide open. Chapter and verse? Here you go: “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Learn the language. For husbands, the primary need is to feel honored. For wives, the primary need is to feel cherished. But each person has a specific love language like words of encouragement, acts of service, touch, time or gifts. Speak your mate’s language and throw some fuel on the fire.