a house divided [or dealing with conflict in the body of Christ]
by clint wagnon


To be deadly honest, most of us who’ve spent any length of time in church environments have seen our share of hurt, disappointment and downright nastiness – the antonym of faith, hope and love prescribed by Jesus for his tribe. Just like families, relationships and even churches can also become dysfunctional. Whenever two or three are gathered, there will inevitably be conflict. Why? Because we are all broken, sinful people. And hurt people hurt people.

As a young church, we must develop the culture now of a Christ-like ethos in dealing with conflict if we are to become the church dreamed in the heart of God. I spent much of my life in dysfunctional religion, and am, for one, looking for something more in a genuine community of God. I spent enough time plugged into the Matrix. I’m ready for the real.

Conflict in itself is not necessarily unhealthy. It can actually be a catalyst for something beautiful. It forces latent problems to the surface and causes a crisis, or dangerous opportunity. It is the dysfunctional way many people react to (or worse, spread) conflict that is cancerous to the body. Jesus said a house divided against itself cannot stand. Divisiveness, by its very definition, destroys the community (common unity) of God’s people. It is no wonder that it is wielded so skillfully by the enemy.

The tragedy is not that conflict is a reality all churches and Christians must face. The tragedy lies in the refusal by so many churches and Christians to follow the explicit directions of the One they call Lord in dealing with the matter. So here are some things for those who identify themselves as Christ-followers to keep in mind:

• Not all Christians are Christ-followers. There is a huge chasm between religion and a relationship to God. Some are planted subversively by the enemy to cause conflict and destroy the common unity. These are often people of influence who have a mask of spirituality about them. In II Corinthians 11, Paul wrote, “no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve.”

• Christ-followers are not given the option of ignoring interpersonal conflict. We are commanded by the One who spilled his blood to reconcile us to God to be people of reconciliation. Listen again to the words of Paul in II Corinthians 5:18, “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.” It might seem easier to ignore the issue, but you haven’t been afforded that choice. If you are unable to forgive and forget, your God has commanded you to engage, and to do so in gentleness and humility (Galatians 6:1).

• Talking to someone else about an offense instead of the person with whom you have conflict is gossip. So is listening. You have no right to tell someone how you’ve been offended or hurt until you have addressed the matter directly with the person. Causing dissension in the body of Christ is no small thing. Proverbs 6:19 says God hates and detests those who sow dissension among the family of God.

• Just as individuals are not afforded the option to ignore conflict, the church is not given the option of ignoring conflict-causers. In fact, Jesus was very explicit in instructing his tribe to address those who cause chronic hurt in his family. If the dissension-makers refuse to repent, Jesus said they are to be shown the door (Matthew 18:15-20.) So deep and passionate is his love for his body, God refuses to let cancer fester and destroy it.

• If you have caused hurt to someone in the body of Christ, or are harboring hurt due to an offense they caused you, Jesus says to press pause on your prayers and first address the issue. "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5:23-24

If we are to be a biblically functioning community of faith, hope and love, we must realize that conflict will be part of our lives until we are made perfect at the appearing of Christ. We must also follow hard after the BridgeBuilder by doing what he has instructed. Dealing with conflict in a healthy way is never easy… but neither is dying of cancer.

[see also "Ten Commandments for Biblical Community" by clint wagnon]